Mama of 2 P's in a Pod

So our girls have had their pictures taken with Topeka's very own Santa since they were babies, so when my parents take them to our local train station's Christmas festivities, they are a little biased on who they think Santa truly is. Yes Topeka's Santa is the real deal. He drives a big red truck with the license plate "Toymaker" and carries Rudolph rings with him 365 days a year. His family is very tolerant of kiddos running up to him in restaurants (like Little P did a few weeks ago) and we have enjoyed getting to see him every year. However, what better way to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa than to celebrate Christmas! So even though they know this guy is Santa's helper, they were good sports! Waiting for the man in red to arrive via train!

I have a friend who has moved away and I don't talk to nearly as much as I should. I was one of the first people she told she was pregnant about 6 1/2 months ago and I was very excited to hear her good news. She was the one who talked me into getting a pregnancy test when I was pregnant with Big P. I swore I wasn't pregnant because honestly I thought I wouldn't be blessed enough to have that opportunity. I had some issues before Big P that led me to down the doubting road. For 3 days she pestered me and kept telling me I "was so knocked up". Of course once I brought it up to Kris, he was ecstatic and the test was bought and taken. It turned pink before I even had a chance to put it on the sink. And so, almost 6 years later, we are raising not one P but two and I thank God every day for that. For my friend J though, parenthood has been a heartache. Kris and I checked her facebook on Veteran's Day and learned that their baby boy came two months too early and wen...

Something happened last week that broke my heart into a million little pieces. Big P came home from school upset about something a boy in her kindergarten class said to her. I asked her what he said and it took her a little while to build up the courage to tell me. She told me it would hurt my feelings because it hurt hers. I told her she could tell me anything and I would listen no matter what. She said the boy (who she has had word matches with quite a bit since school started) was making fun of her because her parents are "big". I asked her what she thought he meant and she made the motion of a big belly. I hid my sadness and gave her a reassuring smile. I let her know that we are all shaped differently and that she knows mommy and daddy have some work to do to get healthy. I asked her what she said back to this boy, and she told him that we are all different and we shouldn't make fun of people because of that. I am a very proud but sad mama. I never wanted my weight o...

Its been awhile since I've blogged. We've been super busy keeping up with the girls and their added activities, packing, getting sick and moving. Now the unpacking is occupying my time. But I've put some of that aside the past day or so, trying to enjoy the girls as much as possible. We've had some trips to the park, enjoying this balmy November weather. Tonight, I'm indulging in some computer time while they dance around to Hannah Montana. Here are some pictures from our summer....enjoy!

Kris is in Colorado this week for the IAFF Memorial, for Fallen Firefighters. Thankfully this year, Topeka doesn't have any names to add to the wall, but sadly there will always be someone's name to add! He took along Big P's Spongebob toy and has taken some pictures of Spongebob's adventures while there. One on top of Pike's Peak and even one at the Colorado Avalanche vs. Dallas Stars game. I have to admit, I'm a little jealous I'm not there right now but there will be next year. The P's and I are enjoying some mommy and P's time. I had lunch with Big P at school today and have been spending some time one-on-one in the afternoons with Little P. Tomorrow, I am attempting my first garage sale, I know I'm probably a little crazy for that one but we really need to de-clutter! I sent in my short story for the Good Housekeeping contest. I would love to get their feedback at least, even if I don't place. Jodi Picoult is a guest judge, just to know ...

I am not even sure if trudging is a word but hey it works today! I am doing just that, moving along and getting things done. I have few interviews coming up so that gives me some hope. Plus, I have applied EVERYWHERE so I'm hoping that out of the 20+ jobs I've applied for, that I will hear back from about 10? There is one job in particular that would allow me to use my media background and be home to get Big P off the bus. Keeping my fingers crossed for that one. Kris and I started working on getting Little P to bed hardcore this week. We are taking the Super Nanny approach, where we just keep putting her back in and telling her "It's time for bed, goodnight". We don't engage, we don't do anything but place her back in bed. The first night, it took 45 minutes, the second night, 30 and tonight I'm on my own. Wish me luck! Big P is doing great in school, but is sad because she can't seem to make friends she says. I doubt that, because she was invited...

I have two sleeping beauties in our house tonight. They are both sound asleep which is a good thing, I know. But their mommy is not, which is not a good thing. I pulled out the laptop in hopes I could channel some of this insomnia into my writing projects, but nothing has happened yet, so I turned to the sometimes easier project, my blog. Which I seriously doubt anyone reads, I mean I never see many numbers jump on my little counter thingy. So I am probably writing to the cyber streams and no one else. Oh well, I guess getting it out of my brain may help me sleep right? Ok now the writer's block has hit here too. Hmm.... Had some funny things with the P's this weekend. Little P decided to comb her hair with a fork, she wanted to be the Little Mermaid. I told her she was not, and she took it pretty well. Later that day, she decided to climb our furniture like a trapeze artist, I informed her that was not a good idea either. For that she just stood on the top of the couch, looked...

I have a lot of time to myself during the day to fill. So far, applying for various jobs and getting caught up on housework has filled my time. I had an interview today for several oppportunities, all part-time and all would allow me time at home with the girls and allow me to be the mommy and wife I want to be. I need to come up with a good routine on getting it all done without letting it get overwhelming. I have a great friend Laura who also happens to be Little P's preschool teacher, who is extremely organized and I'm hoping to take some tips from her. In some of that time, I'm hoping to get a lot of writing done. Both for my book and for a contest my mother-in-law told me about. I finally came up with an idea I think is very doable for that one. I had a few other ideas in my head but this one seems to be the one I can write the best with. The problem? It has to be 3,500 words or LESS. That is not much at all. Its very hard for me to write so little. So I have to make t...

Big P started kindergarten last Thursday. She loves school. Every day she comes home so excited about what she did and so excited to share it with us. She seems to truly enjoy it and soaks it all up! I cried a little when we saw her into the school, off of the bus. Only because it truly means our little girl is growing up. I am however, extremely excited for her and am just sitting back and enjoying it! We have her school carnival coming up and of course her first skating party! Little P is going to start going to a friend of mine's preschool/daycare twice a week. There was a problem with her former preschool and we had a choice to make. She needs preschool and I know Laura will take good care of her! I am very excited for her too! They both got new haircuts last night. Big P wanted bangs to go with the LONG hair. We cut Little P's into a shorter bob, just because its easier to manage. Such cuties! On a personal note, I am now looking for a part-time job. I won't go into de...

A week from today, Big P will start kindergarten. Where has the time gone? It seems like it was only yesterday I was feeding her a bottle, finding that lost binky that somehow found its way underneath the couch or between the car seats. It seems almost like yesterday when I first found out we were expecting and then the first time I felt her little nudge or her hiccups shake my entire belly. She is such a smart little girl, has been from the beginning. Her eyes lead you to an older soul, it was almost like I already knew her when I first met her. While those same eyes often roll at me, and the stubborness that will make her a strong woman drives me insane now, I know that school is truly where she belongs. She is a sponge! She soaks it all in and wants more, and more and more. She analyzes every detail and tries to figure out how it all works. She is thirsty to read, thirsty to figure out how math works beyond the simple addition and subtraction flash cards we own. She is ready. So tha...

Its a busy time of year. School starts in less than 3 weeks and that means Big P will soon be a kindergartener! Little P will be in Pre-K and the shuffle of the school year will begin. Somewhere in there I will have to find time to focus on 4 online classes, come up with a short story for a contest I want to enter and find time to get going on writing my book. I can do this right? I also need to find more time to work out! We've been doing good the past couple of weeks, hope to keep the momentum going! Kris is seeing a personal trainer and I'm taking some classes that are literally kicking my butt into gear! The P's are excited about the school year. There is so much to do and I want to be involved as much as working mama can be! We'll see what we can do. I guess its time to put on my "Super Mom" cape and do it! Here's a fun picture of the P's from last week. They have Swim to Me Puppies and decided they wanted to wear the puppies' goggles. Silly g...

We are now the parents of a 4 AND 5 year old. Sounds kind of scary when its put that way. Little P turned 4 yesterday. Her big family party is Saturday but we took her to Chuck E Cheese last night to celebrate. She had a blast and it was a nice, small crowd of some family and some friends who came with us. I will have to post some fun pictures from that soon but here are a few of my favorites of Little P! She is such a delight to have in our lives. She is a kind, sweet, loving, empathetic, hilarious little girl. She keeps us laughing, keeps us smiling and can melt our hearts with one little pout of her lip. She drives her sister crazy but loves her even more. Thank you Little P, for being the Grace that God gave us!

Yes, yes she did! We took the P's out to dinner last night. It was a fun evening and everyone was on their best behavior, mommy and daddy included. They had just spent some time with Grandma and Grandpa and a few animals including a sweet Yorkie Poo and a kitten. Well Little P decided her ear itched, so she brought her leg up to her ear, and scratched it with her big toe. Just like the animals she had just seen. Kris and I were flabergasted, did she just do that? It was one of those moments as a parent where you just want to laugh so incredibly hard at their imagination and actions, but know better and should advise her that is not how people scratch themselves. It was purely innocent and incredibly sweet as well as hilarious so we ended up telling her that was how animals did it but still laughed too so she knew she still entertains us well. I wish we would've gotten a picture of the moment because it truly was funny!

Little P had me laughing pretty hard at bedtime a few nights ago. She informed me that she didn't need a bedtime so I asked her why she thought that. "I'm a vampire mommy, and vampires don't sleep!" What have I started? We were out at dinner the next night as a family, when Big P said something that made us all laugh. I ordered the quesadillas, forgoing the the all-you-can-eat buffet. She watched me as I smeared some guacamole and sour cream inside and said as sweetly as could be. "Mama why do you like rockamole?" I love it when they get a word wrong, there is something so sweet and innocent about it. A not so sweet moment, at least for me, was a few days ago when Big P was standing next to me at the mirror. She kept looking at my face and then her face and back again. She said with a very disgusted look on her face "Mama will I look like you when I grow up too?" We do look a lot alike right now and I worried when she asked this. She glanced at...

Oh no. I have finally sat down to put all of my ideas onto paper/in a document and I can't find the right words. I know its the first draft and its going to be ugly so I shouldn't worry about sentence structure or anything like that. (I never worry about it on here!) But I can't get the thoughts to form into words much less get my fingers to type them. I've been carrying around a composition notebook with hopes that will inspire me, nope, nothing! The thoughts are coming about 100mph however I can't find a way to connect them to print! UGH! I am finally in the right mind set and ready to do this so why is it so flippin' hard?

Wow this year has flown by. They all do now and sometimes its a little overwhelming to know how quickly time truly passes. Of course that is not always the case when you're waiting for something, like say for the work day to be over. That clock just ticks and sometimes it seems like it ticks backwards. However, that is NOT the case when it comes to watching our children grow up. I am trying get a grasp on time with them. Little P turns 4 this month and it seems just like yesterday she was 2 and learning how to keep up with big sister. I can't change how quickly it passes by, but I'd like to change how I spend my time, particularly with the girls. I realized that summer break is half over and I haven't really kept my promise in making sure its been a fun one. I've spent too many evenings inside camped out in the AC, instead of taking them outside to ride their bikes or blow bubbles or just to be kids out in the dirt finding bugs. I haven't read nearly as much TO ...

So I attempted to fancy up my blog today and realized I only have 2 followers! TWO! Is that true? Are there only two of you who read this? If you do read it and don't follow it yet, scroll down to the bottom and become a follower! I promise to come up with fun things to blog about!

It's hot! Not just hot, but sweltering hot! We expect this kind of heat in Kansas in Mid-July and August but not late June. We've had a heat index of 102 or great at least 4 out of 5 days this week! I'm ok with the summer heat but this kind of heat just zaps the motivation out of me! Kris has been working in this heat, not a big deal when they're not running calls and are able to relax in the cool air of the firestation. However, when they are in the truck, he sits next to the engine in the Aerial truck, in the one space where there is no air conditioning! So needless to say he's a bit worn out. I managed to take the P's swimming earlier this week and we dealt with the heat that way but we haven't been playing outside much at all. In fact, normally this time of year, they are playing and running and enjoying themselves at the Firefighter Union picnic. This year, not so much! The first night was full of a surprise storm that rained out any outside fun. The se...

I am so glad Kris and I were blessed with little girls who like to be silly. Little girls who have the best laughs and even sweeter giggles. Little girls who can melt you heart in one moment and then give you a mouthful in the next. Both P's are very strong-willed in such different ways. Big P likes her thoughts to be known and refuses to give in when she has her own opinion, and while this drives me absolutely insane sometimes, I know in life, it will be a good tool for her to have. Little P is very strong-willed in her own right. She knows what she likes and isn't easily swayed to like something just because big Sister does, which gives me hope that she won't be so easily swayed by others as she enters those peer pressure years. They as such a fun duo, and I love being around them so much more than I have appreciated in the past. Maybe its because they are both at the stage where they're pretty self-sufficient?! Maybe its because they're personalities are so stron...

Wow! I'm just floored by the amount of drama that some people in this world like to stir. I am also floored that a group of women, MOTHERS none the less, are so quick to jump into the high school drama world when it comes to helping out a fellow mama. I am so disappointed in these people and their true show of character. A good friend of mine is in a bad place right now. I won't go into detail because it is her business and her life but she needs some uplifting and some help. I don't have much to give money-wise or time-wise but I'm willing to help and I thought the mommy group we were part of would be too. And there are those who are so willing and so helpful too. Then there are the ones who can't stand to see someone else in the lime ligth (even if it is truly a sad situation like this) and have to try and stir it up. So while I am grateful to the mommies who are willing to dig into the already dry well and help out another mama, and I'm glad to know I can hel...

I try very hard to be positive on this blog, because yes I have, WE have a lot to be thankful for and are truly blessed. However, sometimes, life throws little things at you and its hard to keep that positivity going every minute of every day. Those little things sometimes turn into bigger things and they start to overwhelm. We are at a standstill right now when it comes to home. I won't get into many specifics, some of you who read already know the situation. But while we got some good news that could take us 4 steps forward, it came with an exception that has us back 4 steps. So we're stuck, literally. Its such a hard place to be. We can see the dream right there just within our grasp but have all of this reality tied to it and not enough time to get it all going. So the roller coaster ride hasn't stopped its just at that dead space that has no hill to climb or ride down, its just coasting along and we have no idea which direction its going to go. So stalemate....

Well we have lost tooth number two in the P & D household! Big P would not let her daddy or I go near the second wiggly tooth. She took it upon herself to pull it out at daycare Friday! So the tooth fairy made another visit, this time leaving a .50 cent piece behind, which she thought was very cool! Little P keeps trying to tell us she has wiggly teeth too, oh little one please just wait for that! We've had alot of birthday celebrations in our family this past week, Kris' included. We had a nice time with family last night and even some time with an old friend and his family. Much needed! The P's are really liking daddy's jeep. Unfortunately Mother Nature has decided to bless us with lots of rain and thunderstorms lately so it hasn't been out of the garage as much as most of us would like right now. But its still fun when we get a chance to go out and let the wind rip through our blonde hair - well three of us anyway! Here's a pick Kris recently took of our ...

I recently decided to try out the Twilight book series, by Stephenie Meyer . I wasn't really interested in the hype at first, I mean seriously, Vampires? But when the time came for Kris to leave town for a few days, I decided I wanted to fill my mommy time with a little bit of indulgence for me, which is usually reading. One of my sister-in-laws was already all into the Twilight craze, which wasn't suprising. But my other sister-in-law, the one I didn't expect to enjoy it, was actually very excited about it and couldn't stop talking about it either. So I figured I'd at least give it a shot. I mean I needed something worthwhile to fill my mommy time when the P's had their bedtime, and what better indulgence than reading a book you can't put down. I started the first one Wednesday night, and before I knew it, it was midnight, this was the same way Thursday and I finally finished it Friday night. I couldn't wait to get the P's to bed so I could find o...

There are a few things that I could seriously irrate or very irritated about at least. At while some of it still tweaks me a little, I've decided today that its just not worth the pain and sorrow it could easily bring. Its been a very emotional rollercoaster that has plum worn me out! So part of my conversation with myself includes not letting things that are clearly out of my control take over my life. So Kris and the P's and I will move on, it may be a little bit bumpy but we'll figure it out, because home is truly where ever we are as a family, TOGETHER. And how blessed we are! Here are a few pictures of the P's at their friend Riley's party this past weekend - the joy on their faces truly says how much they are looking forw ard to the joys of summer ! This one kind is a little scarey looking but rest assured - she was enjoying every minute of speeding down the slide at full force! That is Little P's nature after all - enjoy life - embrace it and giggle along...

Whoa, what did I type as my headline for this post? Yep "Stop the BS!" I'm not going to go into much detail about what that is all about as I am going to say it is a good thing! I've blogged and vowed many times to take care of something for myself that I have yet to follow through with. And maybe its because I need to have the conversation DEEP within myself before I can highlight that conversation publicly! But when I do, trust me, it will be worth the wait. Just know this, the time Liz found her shine and her spark is here and all it takes is a little willpower and motivation and I've got some pretty amazing things to keep me motivated! I can name 4 right now: Liz (yes ME!), Kris (the best friend I could ever ask for), Big P (our sweet, head-strong girl!) and Little P (the smile maker!) It's on and as Jillian Michaels says: "Stop the BS!"

Kris is boarding a plane as I type. He and a few of his fellow firefighters are heading up to Mall Hockey (Milwaukee) for an Honor Guard training. (Little P calls it Mall Hockey! =) I have to admit, I've been kind of pouty this week about that trip, I mean he gets to "get away!" who wouldnt' be jealous?! But then I got to thinking about the kind of training they are doing and it will not be entirely all fun for them. They are training on how to be a better detail at EMS/Firefighter funerals....that alone is pretty sad to think about. Although, I'm sure they will find some fun to fill the rest of their time so there is still a little green monster left in me! So that said, just me and the P's for 4 1/2 days. A little overwhelming at first thought but I've decided to make this a fun week of just us girls. I've got a list of projects I'd like to at least get started when he's gone. Wouldn't it be nice to come home to a clean and organized and ...

I have been blessed with another birthday! SO VERY blessed! In fact, I don't mind these birthdays and find it kind of humorous when people say they're 29 five years running. Why do people panic about birthdays? Yes, I am aware that each one reminds us that we are in fact getting older, but so what?! That means we've made it through another year of trials, tears, laughs, joys and so many more blessings than I think most of us are aware we even have! I have so much in my life, much more than I ever imagined and more than I could ever need. I have the love of a man who is truly my best friend, and yes, the past 10 years have been a roller coaster ride, but I wouldn't want that ride with anyone else! I am so "lucky to be in love with my best friend", thank you Jason Mraz and Colbie Calliat for that song. I am reminded every day by this man of how wonderful I am in his eyes and I could not ask for more! I also have the love of two very important little ladies. They...

What a wonderful weekend! We got a lot of celebration time in with both grandmas and together as a family. We were able to go to the "big circus" as big P calls it, thanks to a radio station give-a-way! The P's and I had dinner with my parents while Kris held down the fort at Station 8! And then on Mother's Day, I got up bright and early with a very loud and very sweet "Happy Mother's Day" at 6:45am! I wasn't upset about being woke up so early on a Sunday, how could I be? All three of them were so excited to start the day with me! And what a day?! After being presented with very sweet cards, flowers and a new I-Pod, Kris kidnapped us three girls and took us to Kansas City for a fun day of shopping and eating and hanging out as a family. I am truly blessed to be called his wife and their mama....what a great weekend and it was so needed! Here's a picture of the Divas themselves! We got them alot of really nice Disney gear at the Disney store at ve...

I knew this day was coming eventually. The girls have hit milestones, some right on time and some very early. Last night Big P hit one very early and one I'm not sure if mommy is quite prepared for! She has a wiggly tooth. The pure joy on her face of having us confirm it is indeed a wiggly tooth, was enough to melt my heart. She is so excited, so ready to show her classmates! She keeps doing that cute little tongue-wiggle thing and I keep thinking of when she got that tooth! It was her first tooth! She got her teeth early, she seems to do everything early and that part scares me a little! She is a very persistant child so I know its just a matter of a day or so before we put that tooth out for the Tooth Fairy! I just can't believe our little girl is old enough to lose a tooth, that really has hit me! Can I just bottle this time up? I'm so excited for her though, the excitement and pure joy she has in her little soul is so contagious! Little P of course wants to know when sh...

What is self-esteem? According to Wikipedia: In psychology , self-esteem reflects a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include: self-worth, [1] self-regard, [2] self-respect, [3] [4] self-love (which can express overtones of self-promotion), [5] self-integrity. Self-esteem is distinct from self-confidence and self-efficacy , which involve beliefs about ability and future performance. So how does one go about instilling something like self-esteem, self-worth and self-love in their children? Particularly when a parent has their OWN issues with self-esteem? I think we all have moments where we question our self-worth. Its such an easy trap to get into, but the last thing I think any of us want to do is to cause our children to question theirs. According to Kidshealth.org: What Is Self-Esteem? To understand self-esteem, it helps to break the term into two words. Let's take a look at the word esteem first...

I have attempted many jobs in my life. I have been the ice cream scooper at Baskin Robbins and built footlong sandwiches long before Jared discovered their nutritional value. I've waited tables (ok attempted to wait tables) and have supervised 60+ kids at a summer day camp. I have shot sports footage for a newscast and have produced, directed and assistant-directed a 2 hour morning show. But the one job that seems to have the best benefits is that of a mommy. It has no sick time, no vacation time and I think the only promise for a 401K is that maybe someday these children will make me a grandma. I have to say that being a mommy or as the P's call me "mama" is the best job with the most benefits. I've gotten to carry these precious little people and felt their kicks and hiccups inside of me. I was one of the first people they ever laid eyes on and got to hold their warm, wiggly little bodies before anyone else. I've gotten to get up at 2 in the morning to their...

Easter Sunday was a somber time for our family, it was truly the last holiday where Oma (my grandmother) will probably remember anything. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers almost two years ago and its been a very steady decline. Her true personality pops in a few times here and there but we rarely see Oma in her truest form. Gone are the eyes that sparkled each time she saw one of her grandchildren. And sadly, gone are any memories of her own children. She does seem to remember her siblings in Germany, which sadly are dwindling away, her sister passed away this weekend. My mom and aunt spent their day yesterday preparing to tell Oma this sad news. I have great memories of Oma. There are still certain smells and fabrics and flowers that bring me right back to standing in her kitchen and attempting to help her cook. I got a chance of a lifetime to grow up close to my grandparents and I'm truly grateful for that. Oma devoted her life to her family and now they are devoting their lives...

I try to make a point of finding a balance between being productive in the evenings during the week all the while enjoying time with the P's and with Kris. Grass fire season has kept some of that time to a minimum, but its our job as a fire family to be flexible and I think the P's and I have adjusted well to that life. Sometimes, it does stink but we seem to have gotten better at balancing right now. So while the fires burned last night - the P's and I spent some time outside. They love riding their bikes and big wheels. I remember spending many, many hours doing just the same on my bike and my big wheel. I literally wore the wheels off my Care Bear big wheel and outgrew several bikes. So I truly enjoy seeing them out there doing the same. I hope the balance is a good one, the laundry will still be there yes I know. And the dishes will get done and the trash taken out, so with the weather warming up, its truly time to balance it all out. Especially with big P starting T-Ba...

There are times in life when you seem to get settled and ready to live the routine, and then that routine is shaken a bit. I think those moments are the ones where God is trying to remind you that HE is in charge. So as much as we try to plan, try to get going, sometimes he takes us in a different direction. One that is better once we get to where we are supposed to go. There are some opportunities and questions that lie ahead for our family, ones that can be frustrating and stressful and others that could be just the change we needed. So for now, I will just pray that whatever doors God opens for us, we are willing to step inside. I'm excited, worried, happy, loved, loving, trusting, hopeful and blessed so I know that as long as we go forward as a family, ANYTHING is possible!

It has been a very long week, so glad its Friday. I wish someone would tell Mother Nature it is April and that she needs to save the snow for next winter! Gearing up to go back to school, wow its been a long time and I keep having the dream about forgetting to do my homework! YIKES! The P's are ready for the warm weather to stick around. I overheard them this morning making plans to play outside with our neighbor A on her swingset, riding their bikes again and running through a sprinkler. Oh to be their age again...their innocence is so sweet and so refreshing. I just pray w e can keep them so innocent for as long as possible.