Mama of 2 P's in a Pod

I am feeling very Grinch like this holiday season. And not in a funny, Jim Carrey kind of way. I know Christmas doesn't sneak up, but this year it truly has felt that way. Maybe it is because Thanksgiving was so late? Or maybe because someone has a 10th birthday this month and I'm not quite ready for the double digits with our daughters yet. Or maybe I have had my fill of family and family drama, choices and bullshit? Or maybe its just the financial aspect of it. I am usually way more prepared than I was up until a week ago. I do not like waiting until the last minute. But I also do not like the materialistic approach we have all taken on this holiday anyway. See, there I go, all Bah Humbugging. I normally love this time of year. The magic, the surprise of giving someone something, whether its a pay it forward kind of thing, like buying someone's coffee. Or bell ringing to help those in need, or just the fun of bringing neighbors baked goods. I love watching the excitemen...

Well Thanksgiving came and went. Normally I would be out Black Friday shopping at this time of day. But I am still in bed and do not have any immediate plans to get up.  Our girls' Christmas lists are very simple this year and I think they kept me in mind when they did that. They must have known that mommy would get pretty sick around thanksgiving and not be able to partake in the the materialistic ritual that is Black Friday. Ok, yeah that's probably not it, but it's a nice thought. I'm actually glad their lists are simple for many reasons. But today, I am really glad. I kind of feel like Cindy Lou Who from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", the Jim Carrey movie, not so much the book. How I see all of these people around me gobbling up the latest deals and wanting this and wanting that, but missing the meaning of the holidays. I want simple, and my girls apparently do too. They are excited of course like most kids, but they have a lot of questions about Santa ...

Anyone else notice how quickly stores jump from holiday to holiday? I mean at our local Target, we were Halloween shopping next to Christmas items. Really? Slow down! Let us breathe between events please. I guess such is life now. Our reality is truthfully busy, busy, and more busy. Why should I be surprised that holidays overlap in the candy aisle!? October is kind of a blur. What was supposed to be our slowing down month, was filled with various tournaments, both softball and soccer in the mix of Kris' crazy schedule still in full swing. But we survived and amazingly, thrived through the process. Now we are in November, a much more relaxed month. Yes I know its the countdown to the "HOLIDAYS" but I am not too worried. What will happen, will happen. Yes I realize I have a 10 year birthday to plan for. Sniff. 10!!! Again the busy, busy, busy makes these years just seem to rush by. I can't believe we are hitting 10! Sadly with 10 comes all of the realities of growi...

The school year has taken off. So much so that I started this post a week ago and am just now getting to it. Ah tis' the life when sports collide and school starts and there are things to do every night and every weekend. While I enjoy this time of year, October means less craziness. But for now, we are having a blast. Kris has been gone with trips and work so mom and I have been taking on activities together. Without my mama, I'd be a mess. She is a great friend and a great inspiration to me and the girls. So thankful for her! The P's are finishing up softball, both with new teams. Big P had played with the Peaches for 5 seasons, but after a rocky one between her and the new coach, she made the big girl choice of finding another team. There is something to be said when a 9-year-old picks up on unnecessary politics. But bad feelings aside, I am proud of her choice. She tried out for several teams but ended up going with the Spark, the team Little P spent her season ...

Maybe its the stomach flu induced dreams. But I woke up actually inspired to write today, between trips to the bathroom of course. I hope this idea will take me somewhere. Its a good one. And I can't wait to give it life. On a side note. I need to move somewhere not so hot.

So a lump is a lump that a lump is a lump and a lump is a lump that refuses to give up. Ok that was bad. But I have had not much else on my mind since my doctor's appointment yesterday. The lump that was annoying and caused me to get my first mammogram last year, has returned and decided to grow. So guess what? I am getting my boob squeezed into pancake form again next week. But here is the fun part. Because that whole vision I just gave you isn't enough fun? Since I am the young age of 35, I couldn't just call and schedule myself a mammogram. I got to dance through the hoops of doctors calling doctors and waiting and hoping they get it on a day I'm off since we start that whole school thing again next week. If I were a mere 5 years older, I could schedule one for myself. I understand the reasoning to a point, but I also think that with someone who has history of lumps, I should be able to schedule one. I think any woman who is ever worried should be able to sched...

Sometimes life goes on a narrow, specific route. And sometimes it comes at you in all directions. That is when you have a choice, fight it or see where it takes you. I've fought it a lot in my 35 years. Some fights have been worth it, some have not. I'm not fighting life anymore. That does not mean I am giving up, rather it means I am going for the journey. I will command my goals, my dreams and my inspirations, and see where God takes me with those. Its transformation time. Inside and out. Not just for me, but for my sweet little family. I can lead by example and be the person I hope my daughters will be like some day. Now is that time. Because truly, I am Second. And that's a great place to be.

Where oh where has summer gone? I know, the ball fields! That is where we spent most of our summer. And last night was awards night. There is almost a sadness, or empty feeling when their sports seasons end. Maybe its because we know we won't be seeing all of those families and friends on an almost daily basis or maybe because now we have to fill our time with unscheduled events. Like cleaning. BLAH! We had a great softball season for the most part. Little P was part of a brand new team, families from Big P's team through the years and just random people thrown together to make the Spark. And wow those girls had spunk. From being the little team that could to being the Cinderella story of the 8 under softball world. If you would have told me that these tiny little girls from the October Monster Bash tourney would take 4th in the World Series, I probably would have laughed. But they proved themselves time and time again and they reminded us all what sports are about. Learning,...

I'm less angry today. Which is good. I've learned to change my attitude about the things I can not change and the things that truly have nothing to do with me. Today is a new day, a beautiful, sun is finally shining and no rain in the forecast kind of day. Enjoying summer break as well as I can with the girls. Hoping to make a lot of check offs on their summer bucket list. Our world revolves around softball at the moment. Which is what I expected and oddly enough, enjoy. The girls are on two seperate teams since little P has to be in the 8 and under league and big P is in the 10 and under. I like that, though it makes for lots of running around, it gives them their own identity. They do play on the same soccer team, that is truly for my own sanity but also because they can be competitive with each other and drive each other to do better. We had a semi break from the ball diamonds this week. In fact, this weekend is the first and only for awhile that we wont be sitting at the ...

Sometimes, expecting nothing is truly the best course. I seem to expect too much. Warning: this is a angry woman post. I'm angry at the man I was raised by. I am angry at his son. I am angry at people who feel their entitled. I am angry that I've allowed my kids to act that way. I am angry that I don't have the time, energy or desire to be a dog parent anymore. I am angry that after 3 days of "summer break" our house still looks like crap. I am just angry. Working through it to not be so angry anymore. But I won't apologize for it. I have been too pleasant and too nice for too long. Today, I am angry.

Changes are happening as I type in my family. Later this month, my parents hit 32 years of marriage. But times have changed and things go in different directions and they are on the journey of divorce. Its a strange time. A weird time. An awkward time. A much need, should have happened a long time ago, time. Its also a bittersweet time. Sad in some aspects and freeing in others. I know both of them will land on their feet. Its just a matter of helping them to believe that. I feel like the parent now in some aspects. And I feel like I need to take care of them in others. Weird place to be. Not sure if we will ever be able to do things together as a full family or if we will become one of those multiple Christmases type of families. Praying they can both do well. And still be the parents and grandparents they want to be. I've been dealing with strange stomach stuff most of my life. But it has gotten a little stranger over the past few months. Finally got in with my doctor and its a ...

Thursday it snowed, and snowed, and snowed. So we had two snow days. Today is saturday, our third straight day of being home. There is another winter storm on the way for, wait for it, Sunday night into Monday morning. I'm thinking its a given, we will have another snow day. Normally I don't mind snow days. Get things done, play with the girls, have fun. However, our school district gave us ONE snow day this year. After having an abundance of them last year, and having to give the kids days off to even it out, they only felt it necessary to put one in. Thursday will mean we have to go to school on a teacher work day in April. Friday will mean we go through May 24th. Monday would mean we go back to school until after Memorial Day. BOO! C'mon people, we live in Kansas where we have 70 degrees on a Monday and a snow/ice storm on a Friday. Prepare!!! Sigh, we are getting in some good snuggling, some good laughs and time together. I wish Kris were here for all of it but he was p...

I have been waiting patiently for this cough - turned upper respiratory infection to go away. But I'm over it. Done. Ready for it move on out. 5 days of the Zpac and prednisone seem to be helping. My cough is still on the smoker lady side, but I can feel it moving out. And about darn time. Its been over a month since I've been able to run, to Jazzercize for more than 30 minutes and that is cramping my style! I know there have been countless posts on my quest to get fit. But life has really hit me to the point that its not longer a quest it is a mission. And waiting for the ability to get going stinks. I have no more patience. I know I have to get healthy in order to get healthy, but seriously enough! I've contemplated starting a new blog, to focus on this love-hate relationship I have with my body. But I figured you guys have stuck with me this long so I guess I will just have to bore you with my thoughts on the subject on here. Because being Mama of two P's in a pod,...

Trust 1. A: to place confidence : depend b : to be confident : hope 2 : to sell or deliver on credit transitive verb 1 a : to commit or place in one's care or keeping : entrust b : to permit to stay or go or to do something without fear or misgiving 2 a : to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of : believe b : to place confidence in : rely on c : to hope or expect confidently 3 : to extend credit to Something I'm having a real hard time with here lately.

You know which ones. The one where your 7-year-old looks you in the eye and touches your face in such a way you know that there is no greater love. The one where your 9-year-old begs to spend some time with just you. The one where your 85 lb lab comes over to sit by you just to keep your cold feet warm. The one where you are out and about with your husband and he takes your hand and gently squeezes so only you know what he's thinking. Seeing your mom with your two daughters and the pure joy felt between the three of them just for being around each other. These are the moments that keep me going. The other ones, the not so great ones are nothing compared to moments like these. I have spent too much time worrying about to fix the other ones that I have almost overlooked the important ones. The ones that make my very heart beat, my soul breathe. I will not spend another minute on the not so great ones.

It's that time of year when we are all pressured to set resolutions and big goals for the new year. But after some thinking, and then a little more thinking, (oh come on you know I like over think everything) I'd like to spend 2013 celebrating ordinary achievements. I do have some goals too, but I'd like to really enjoy the life that is going on around me, more. I was reminded by a good friend that I used to be the person who had small goals but went after them nontheless. Now, I put everyone else first. I'd like to find some balance in there. And that is one of my goals. But mostly, I want to enjoy the lives around me and enjoy my life. What are the ordinary moments? Saying yes to the gumball machine, or bouncy ball machine. Taking the time to listen to their stories, to really listen, even if its about the boy in class who can make fart noises with his armpit, its their story. I will celebrate the rare occasion when my 9-year-old grabs my hand when we are out shoppi...