Patience is over

I have been waiting patiently for this cough - turned upper respiratory infection to go away. But I'm over it. Done. Ready for it move on out. 5 days of the Zpac and prednisone seem to be helping. My cough is still on the smoker lady side, but I can feel it moving out. And about darn time. Its been over a month since I've been able to run, to Jazzercize for more than 30 minutes and that is cramping my style! I know there have been countless posts on my quest to get fit. But life has really hit me to the point that its not longer a quest it is a mission. And waiting for the ability to get going stinks. I have no more patience. I know I have to get healthy in order to get healthy, but seriously enough! I've contemplated starting a new blog, to focus on this love-hate relationship I have with my body. But I figured you guys have stuck with me this long so I guess I will just have to bore you with my thoughts on the subject on here. Because being Mama of two P's in a pod, includes the part of trying to better ME. I was asked what I thought my ideal weight was the other day. Sadly, it struck me, its been so long since I've been even remotely close to a number I'd call ideal, I don't even know. I do know that my driver's license weight is a weight I'd like to see again. Let's be honest, I don't remember what it felt like to be any where near that number. I've been over 200lbs for more than 10 years now. TEN YEARS! That is ridiculous. I mean what have I been waiting for? Am I afraid to take care of myself? Am I unable to lose weight? Do I have absolutely no will power? I'd like to think I am able, that I can take care of myself. But seriously its all about follow through, and when it comes to ME, I suck at that. So God willing, tomorrow I hit the gym with my husband. I am going to take it slow because I don't really want to be in 3 hour coughing fit like the other night, but I just can't wait any longer. I want to get going and going now. I'd like to see what I actually need to do calorie intake/buring wise every day to see a loss. A significant loss. The kind of loss that requires new clothes, smaller clothes, sexier clothes. The kind of loss that people have to do a double take when they see me. The kind of loss that inspires, my family, my friends, my daughters. So today, I weighed in. I seriously fluctuate between the same damn 6 pounds either direction. I'd like to move past that and just keep dropping the number I see. I'd like to be physical, sweat like crazy, physical every day. I'd like to reduce my sugar and carb intake. These are my goals this week. Patience is over. Time to get busy.

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