Mama of 2 P's in a Pod

Most of my blog is about my family. I mean come on, it is called Mama of 2 P's in a Pod. But after some recent thinking and chatting with people close to me, I've decided to blog about myself for a moment. I seem to have lost my center. Perhaps I've never had it in my own possession. I am after all, a people pleaser and a fixer. I want to help everyone and anyone who will let me know. I devote so much time to my family that when it comes down to it, I don't have much for myself. It is not their fault, it is only my own. I can't change overnight, but the time has come to find myself. I know I am around here somewhere. I need to find a way to be true to me, but still be the giver I am. That will be hard. I want to fix some things so very bad, but they aren't mine to fix. I have to step back a little and let those who need to fix them, find their own way. I know we are at 11 months since the fire. And most of everyone we know is over it and expects us to be. I ...

2015 is here. Much like last year, we were asked to chose a word rather than a resolution to guide our year. Each of us have selected a word. Kris is Better. Piper is Courageous. Parker is Shine. Mine is Best. So I will do my best in all I do this year. So far, I've done my best at staying in PJ"s all day and watching Friends from the beginning on Netflix. We have all been extremely worn down and tired. The girls both have colds that seem to zonk all energy. So we've spent the first two days of this year in PJ's and watching movies, shows etc. Kris came home this morning and went straight to bed, after fighting a big fire downtown. I know it wasn't just physical exhaustion that sent him to bed. Fighting fires has taken a whole new meaning now. Speaking of fire. Our fire still haunts this house. I know we are at the 10 month mark, but being home is strange. It is a house, it isn't quite home yet. So part of Operation Best, is finding my best way to make ou...

I am not usually one to wish time away. But man, I will not be sad to say goodbye to 2014. It has been a crazy year. I won't dwell on the down parts but I will say they definitely outweigh the up parts. Ok that's not fair, there were plenty of ups in 2014. They just get overshadowed. Maybe I should rethink this whole post. Ok so here I go. I am looking forward to 2015 and all of the opportunities a new year brings. Does that sound better? A certain event does overshadow the many joys we've had this year. I do think all 4 of us are ready to move on and get going. A new year is a perfect chance to do just that. Big P turned 11 a couple of weeks ago. Insane to think we have someone so close to being a teen in our house. Like clockwork, the teenage attitude has arrived. But thankfully, she is very much a little girl still. She asked for Barbies and Grandma delivered. I love listening to her and her sister play. Just play, using imaginations, having fun. Whether it is with B...

We got our traditional Santa Pictures this year. Our girls have had their pictures with the Topeka Santa since they were toddlers. This year was a little different as Piper no longer fits on his lap and they were both shy. (SHOCKING I know!) But we had a lot of fun with these and can't wait to make our Christmas cards. Sooner than I would like, Santa won't matter.

Ok. I apologize for my last post. It was very pissy. Without going into too much detail, there are other deciding factors on our funky funkiness..... But after some great conversations and some not so great conversations, I am happy to say we are on our way. Finding our way this holiday season. We all make our choices, and what you may chose, I may not. But it doesn't make either direction wrong as it is our OWN path. Sadly, with the fire we have lost some people we've considered friends and some we even considered family. They lost site of good deeds and our feelings. And we've let them go. Finding our way. One inch at a time. But with faith, and love and lot of pixie dust. Ok maybe not pixie dust. Disney won't share that stuff for whatever reason. But with the other two, we will make it and be stronger for it.

Some days rolling out of bed is a chore. And on those days, it truly is a blessing that you have two little people (well under the age of 15) who rely on you. Because otherwise, you might not get out of said bed. Today is one of those days. The funky funkiness that has consumed our household continues. I would love to type on here that all is well. But we are clearly in the "spent the last 9 months dealing with more emotion and ups and downs than we should have had to and now we've got nothing" mode. It sucks. I'm not going to sugar coat it. The girls are having some fun with friends and the countdown to a big break from school. We did have a mommy-daughters movie date tonight while Kris worked. That was fun. I hope the spirit and the joy of this season kicks in soon. For all of us. Life is too precious and to beautiful to let this funk continue. Ready to be over it.