This is the face of our oldest P. In a month and a half, she will be 5-years-old and a "whole handful" she reminds me. And of course, I remind her that she's been a "handful" her entire life, which makes me laugh, but leaves her with a puzzled look. She is going through a stage lately that makes me incredibly sad. Big P, is such a sweet girl, she truly is. She is smart, funny, beautiful inside and out and a relatively good kid. However, when it comes to our relationship, she is in the phase where mommy doesn't know anything, and she feels the need to remind me of this. No, she hasn't come out and called me stupid, but she is quick to talk back to me and quick to shoot me looks of anger. I don't think she knows the power of those looks, they break my heart. I've heard from friends with little girls the same age who say they're experiencing the same thing with their daughters. But it doesn't make the hurt any less. When did my sweet little girl become so mean? Is it my fault? I know I've been distracted with a few issues over the past year and she probably heard more and saw more than she was quite ready for so I have to question whether or not I've caused this little girl to be so mean? I truly hope this is just a phase, and one that will end on a good note. I miss my sweet P! She still lets me play and snuggle with her sometimes, but not as often as I'd like or I should. I know I shouldn't let 5-10 minutes of this behavior ruin an entire day with her, but it still hurts.
I know its just a matter of time before little P hits this stage, but for now, she is all about me. Which makes me a little sad for daddy, but she is getting better about sharing her kisses, and snuggles and
love-on's! She is not afraid to yell "I love you mama!" across a room of people. She is very clingy lately though, and is constantly my little hip monkey as I like to call her. Sometimes, Kris will say it just doesn't seem like she's growing up as fast as big P did. I still think its going way too fast with both of them. Part of me is so excited to see them learn new things and enjoy their new independence, the other part of me wants to bottle this time up forever!
We took the P's to feed the ducks and geese yesterday, among other warmer weather activities. Little P slept through most of it but it gave Kris and Big P the chance to spend some time together. I sat across the pond, holding our sleeping 3-year-old, while daddy and our oldest bonded over bread and quacks. It was such a joy to watch the two of them, and to hold little P close as she slept. I'll post some Halloween pictures once I get to steal some from Kris' camera!


Comments

kristen lewis said…
You are a fabulous mommy and both P's are blessed to have you! Keep on loving on them- even when they give you "the look!"
November 4, 2008 at 11:52 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parker's turning 3!

Image
It's been almost 3 years since we met Parker. She was a surprise baby to us, one we hadn't planned for but one that has changed our lives in ways we never imagined. She has always seem to have this knowledge of her presence in our lives, as a blessing more than anything else. She is our little calmer, she has this uncanny way of coming up to me when I'm at my worst and putting her sweet hand on my face and helping bring a sudden calm over me. Now don't get me wrong, she is a BUSY, BUSY little girl. From the moment she wakes up to the moment she finally gives in to sleep at night, that little girl has things to do. Whether it's dressed up in high heels and carrying a purse or finding a way to drive her big sister crazy, Parker is always up for a challenge. I can't believe our baby is already turning 3! She kept her end of the deal this summer, we told her if she could potty-train, we'd send her to sister's pre-school. Well guess who's potty-trained
Read more

Here we go

Image
 Our oldest heads to England to study abroad for a month on Saturday. A whole month. Away. Across the pond. Living in a castle nonetheless. I am so incredibly excited for her and terrified at the same time. I know this will open so many doors for her and will hopefully help her to open herself to life and new experiences. I am trying to not over think or over worry or over anything, to just let it ride and see how things go. I am so proud of her for jumping. For her willingness to do this and see what's out there. It's just so hard to have to share her. I've been very spoiled having her around and honestly she has become one of my best friends, as much as a child can be. She is still my child, grown up or not. I can't wait to see where life takes her, I hope I get to go along for part of the ride! Our youngest begins her college cheer career this week. They have their first round of insane practices. She is so excited and so ready for something that belongs to her. I am
Read more

Setting boundaries

 We've really had to have some tough talks with our girls about setting boundaries and sadly, cutting ties. Some toxic friendships in their lives have been brought to the forefront of life, and Kris and I both feel these are things they need to know how to do, much sooner than we figured out. It's been tough, and some really hard conversations have came into play since we started giving them this guidance, including facing some of our own bullshit. That part has been hard. To not take things personally when they are doing exactly what we asked of them. I wholeheartedly admit I am a helicopter mom. I have always joked that I was the fun one, the one involved, the one there to help with whatever they need. But it has been brought to my attention that they need to fail, they need some space and quite honestly, I'm not as good as I thought. OOF. If that isn't a punch to the gut. But as the great Taylor Swift says, "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me.&quo
Read more