Mama of 2 P's in a Pod

Maybe its the stomach flu induced dreams. But I woke up actually inspired to write today, between trips to the bathroom of course. I hope this idea will take me somewhere. Its a good one. And I can't wait to give it life. On a side note. I need to move somewhere not so hot.

So a lump is a lump that a lump is a lump and a lump is a lump that refuses to give up. Ok that was bad. But I have had not much else on my mind since my doctor's appointment yesterday. The lump that was annoying and caused me to get my first mammogram last year, has returned and decided to grow. So guess what? I am getting my boob squeezed into pancake form again next week. But here is the fun part. Because that whole vision I just gave you isn't enough fun? Since I am the young age of 35, I couldn't just call and schedule myself a mammogram. I got to dance through the hoops of doctors calling doctors and waiting and hoping they get it on a day I'm off since we start that whole school thing again next week. If I were a mere 5 years older, I could schedule one for myself. I understand the reasoning to a point, but I also think that with someone who has history of lumps, I should be able to schedule one. I think any woman who is ever worried should be able to sched...

Sometimes life goes on a narrow, specific route. And sometimes it comes at you in all directions. That is when you have a choice, fight it or see where it takes you. I've fought it a lot in my 35 years. Some fights have been worth it, some have not. I'm not fighting life anymore. That does not mean I am giving up, rather it means I am going for the journey. I will command my goals, my dreams and my inspirations, and see where God takes me with those. Its transformation time. Inside and out. Not just for me, but for my sweet little family. I can lead by example and be the person I hope my daughters will be like some day. Now is that time. Because truly, I am Second. And that's a great place to be.

Where oh where has summer gone? I know, the ball fields! That is where we spent most of our summer. And last night was awards night. There is almost a sadness, or empty feeling when their sports seasons end. Maybe its because we know we won't be seeing all of those families and friends on an almost daily basis or maybe because now we have to fill our time with unscheduled events. Like cleaning. BLAH! We had a great softball season for the most part. Little P was part of a brand new team, families from Big P's team through the years and just random people thrown together to make the Spark. And wow those girls had spunk. From being the little team that could to being the Cinderella story of the 8 under softball world. If you would have told me that these tiny little girls from the October Monster Bash tourney would take 4th in the World Series, I probably would have laughed. But they proved themselves time and time again and they reminded us all what sports are about. Learning,...

I'm less angry today. Which is good. I've learned to change my attitude about the things I can not change and the things that truly have nothing to do with me. Today is a new day, a beautiful, sun is finally shining and no rain in the forecast kind of day. Enjoying summer break as well as I can with the girls. Hoping to make a lot of check offs on their summer bucket list. Our world revolves around softball at the moment. Which is what I expected and oddly enough, enjoy. The girls are on two seperate teams since little P has to be in the 8 and under league and big P is in the 10 and under. I like that, though it makes for lots of running around, it gives them their own identity. They do play on the same soccer team, that is truly for my own sanity but also because they can be competitive with each other and drive each other to do better. We had a semi break from the ball diamonds this week. In fact, this weekend is the first and only for awhile that we wont be sitting at the ...

Sometimes, expecting nothing is truly the best course. I seem to expect too much. Warning: this is a angry woman post. I'm angry at the man I was raised by. I am angry at his son. I am angry at people who feel their entitled. I am angry that I've allowed my kids to act that way. I am angry that I don't have the time, energy or desire to be a dog parent anymore. I am angry that after 3 days of "summer break" our house still looks like crap. I am just angry. Working through it to not be so angry anymore. But I won't apologize for it. I have been too pleasant and too nice for too long. Today, I am angry.

Changes are happening as I type in my family. Later this month, my parents hit 32 years of marriage. But times have changed and things go in different directions and they are on the journey of divorce. Its a strange time. A weird time. An awkward time. A much need, should have happened a long time ago, time. Its also a bittersweet time. Sad in some aspects and freeing in others. I know both of them will land on their feet. Its just a matter of helping them to believe that. I feel like the parent now in some aspects. And I feel like I need to take care of them in others. Weird place to be. Not sure if we will ever be able to do things together as a full family or if we will become one of those multiple Christmases type of families. Praying they can both do well. And still be the parents and grandparents they want to be. I've been dealing with strange stomach stuff most of my life. But it has gotten a little stranger over the past few months. Finally got in with my doctor and its a ...