Away at Camp
So I'm at camp this week. My girls could have came with me, but I didn't want to take away from any military kiddos. Next year, they will come. They will love it, and they won't have such a hard time with me here. They are of course having a blast with Kris, and their cousins who are watching them while Kris is on duty. I am so grateful for the smooth transitions. It is good to know that they are in good hands and getting where they need to be. Softball moms have jumped in and helped as well as they still have practice, have games etc. The shuffle is usually handled by me, but with me working summers it may be a "it takes a village" kind of thing. Of course come November, that may change back but we will see. I will not lie though, it is hard to not be missed. I'm sure tonight, there will be water works if we get to FaceTime. I've been here since Sunday. But the service is pretty sporadic and my time with the kids comes first. It is my job after all. But these girls are more resilient and more flexible than I've ever given them credit for. I am truly in awe of their ability to roll with it. I think I'm having a harder time adapting than they are.
This has been an incredible experience so far. I'm totally out of my comfort zone, and that is ok. I have had a few moments though where I question it. Clearly, I am a major second guesser at life. I need to seriously work on that. I think it has held me back in so many ways and sadly, I think I have held the girls back a lot. So something to work on. Added to the ever growing list of life improvement. It has been difficult for me to accept that my current body is unable to do things at camp that I could when I was a counselor at age 20. YES I am fully aware that was quite awhile ago. I am not denying the aging thing. This is more of the health, well being and obesity thing screaming at me. Rhumatic fever is truly felt here. The whole mimicking of arthritis type things are jumping out the most. I have had hip issues (wow I sound geriatric), for years. Being born breech and then delivering two babies naturally, was not a good combo. And the whole W sitting position, I did up until college. SO the left hip is bad, I can pop it in and out. This week it doesn't matter what I do, this bad boy HURTS. I am walking like those ladies who I used to watch as a child. BUT I am also getting in about 18k steps a day, and eating extremely healthy. HOPEFULLY that combination will take some of the pressure off my old-lady wannabe joints. Did I mention I am so over this rheumatic fever BS?! Because I am! It is nice to spend a week make up free and hair thrown up in a camp style pony. The whole shorts thing is odd. I have spent most of my 30's in capris, because well lets be honest, these thighs are not as young or toned as they used to be. AGAIN working on that. But I have noticed a huge generation switch on clothing and size. Girls with larger builds who are in their late teens to 20's, just don't care. AT all. I am in awe of them. At their age, when I was the larger girl in the group, I tried to hide myself. Fast forward to 37, that has followed me to this day. NO need to hide. Just be tasteful. Tasteful is awesome. And dammit I am ready to not hide. I definitely don't want my girls to ever feel like they need to hide.
Speaking of hiding, can I just say I am so glad 4th grade is over for P2. P1 had an exceptional year. She had a teacher who went above and beyond and she thrived in his classroom. I pray P2 gets the same teacher next year and we can spend some time this summer undoing the damage. It is disheartening to see teachers so burnt out that they can make or break a child's spirit. But we all get in a rut, and Kansas isn't the best place to be a teacher at present moment. But wow, so glad to be out of his classroom.
Back to November, I am a contractor for the National Guard. This means I am paid when there is money to be paid, like most jobs. The difference being, when cuts are made in Washington, our youth and child program is usually the first thing on the chopping block. I knew that this was a possibility when I left the school. Heck, with budget cuts there, my job probably wasn't safe either. There are no guarantees in life, but I can guarantee the experience I'm getting from this job, will make it worth the move. So come November 6th, and the contract doesn't get renewed, I have a back up plan. And even a back up to my back up plan. But in the 6 months I do have a semi-guarantee, I will be able to make a huge difference in our financial life and gain valuable moments. Sadly, the national guard is depleted. I amongst members of the guard who say they've never seen it this bad. So we will see. Roll with the punches. Flexibility is my middle name, or should be.
Well, my quiet time (ok get real there is no quiet time at camp), is coming to a close. Back to work! Hurrah!
This has been an incredible experience so far. I'm totally out of my comfort zone, and that is ok. I have had a few moments though where I question it. Clearly, I am a major second guesser at life. I need to seriously work on that. I think it has held me back in so many ways and sadly, I think I have held the girls back a lot. So something to work on. Added to the ever growing list of life improvement. It has been difficult for me to accept that my current body is unable to do things at camp that I could when I was a counselor at age 20. YES I am fully aware that was quite awhile ago. I am not denying the aging thing. This is more of the health, well being and obesity thing screaming at me. Rhumatic fever is truly felt here. The whole mimicking of arthritis type things are jumping out the most. I have had hip issues (wow I sound geriatric), for years. Being born breech and then delivering two babies naturally, was not a good combo. And the whole W sitting position, I did up until college. SO the left hip is bad, I can pop it in and out. This week it doesn't matter what I do, this bad boy HURTS. I am walking like those ladies who I used to watch as a child. BUT I am also getting in about 18k steps a day, and eating extremely healthy. HOPEFULLY that combination will take some of the pressure off my old-lady wannabe joints. Did I mention I am so over this rheumatic fever BS?! Because I am! It is nice to spend a week make up free and hair thrown up in a camp style pony. The whole shorts thing is odd. I have spent most of my 30's in capris, because well lets be honest, these thighs are not as young or toned as they used to be. AGAIN working on that. But I have noticed a huge generation switch on clothing and size. Girls with larger builds who are in their late teens to 20's, just don't care. AT all. I am in awe of them. At their age, when I was the larger girl in the group, I tried to hide myself. Fast forward to 37, that has followed me to this day. NO need to hide. Just be tasteful. Tasteful is awesome. And dammit I am ready to not hide. I definitely don't want my girls to ever feel like they need to hide.
Speaking of hiding, can I just say I am so glad 4th grade is over for P2. P1 had an exceptional year. She had a teacher who went above and beyond and she thrived in his classroom. I pray P2 gets the same teacher next year and we can spend some time this summer undoing the damage. It is disheartening to see teachers so burnt out that they can make or break a child's spirit. But we all get in a rut, and Kansas isn't the best place to be a teacher at present moment. But wow, so glad to be out of his classroom.
Back to November, I am a contractor for the National Guard. This means I am paid when there is money to be paid, like most jobs. The difference being, when cuts are made in Washington, our youth and child program is usually the first thing on the chopping block. I knew that this was a possibility when I left the school. Heck, with budget cuts there, my job probably wasn't safe either. There are no guarantees in life, but I can guarantee the experience I'm getting from this job, will make it worth the move. So come November 6th, and the contract doesn't get renewed, I have a back up plan. And even a back up to my back up plan. But in the 6 months I do have a semi-guarantee, I will be able to make a huge difference in our financial life and gain valuable moments. Sadly, the national guard is depleted. I amongst members of the guard who say they've never seen it this bad. So we will see. Roll with the punches. Flexibility is my middle name, or should be.
Well, my quiet time (ok get real there is no quiet time at camp), is coming to a close. Back to work! Hurrah!
Comments