Just call me Cindy Lou Who....


So tomorrow is the first day of December.
I have ZERO holiday spirit.
I have ZERO spirit for much of anything. 
They call this healing.
I call it ridiculous.
I am so over it. I am so over 2014. But I hate, despise. loathe even, wishing life away.
So I am NOT going to say I can't wait for 2015. Because that would make me a hypocrite.
I can say this.

Medicine is a beautiful thing. WHEN it works.
What is not beautiful. Going to a fantastic vacation that took you 4 years to save for, 15 lbs heavier than when you started the school year. Curse you medicine and your stupid changes. Just fix this crap now because RF I am about to make you my bitch. It was hard to enjoy the beach or rides when I felt frumpy and large. I plan on going back to Florida a lot healthier! Tomorrow I am hitting it hard and not only am I going to tackle this stupid 15 EXTRA pounds, I am going to keep going and by this time next year, the only number I will have on my mind is 13.1. I hope to inspire my family to get moving and get going. No more waiting. No more talking. ONLY doing!
 
I was an angry black Friday shopper. One, because all of a sudden businesses needed to open on Thanksgiving as people were spending time serving others or enjoying time with family. That is insane. Two, because my mom and I go for fun, not to be part of crowds, but for the experience and this year, P1 wanted to come. The experience was not worth the 3:30am wake up. I do not have the desire anymore to fill our home or our lives with "stuff." And that my friends, is what Black Friday is about. STUFF! Over it. Done it. Shopping for the gifts we do need, ONLINE!

The new tree is up. It is very beautiful and a late in the day Black Friday purchase. We shopped around town and were about to give up when Kris suggested we try one more place. That place had the tree we fell in love with at place number 1, WAY cheaper. Glad we went. We put it up and stared at the two boxes of ornaments they were able to save from the fire. It took us almost 2 days to decide which ones to put up. Sad to say our 16 years of holidays were summed up in two boxes. None of us felt the spirit when we got the trees and decorations up. We even splurged a little for beautiful lights to put on the house outside. Still, no one here seems excited.

Again with the healing. 8 months of raw emotion has seemed to have left us all a little numb. Our trip was refreshing but we seemed to be missing something. Now we just have to figure out what and find it. Our family was sad for so long. And our emotions seem to be out of whack or missing altogether. I pray we can all find our way back soon, so we can enjoy the holidays. Enjoy the magic. Enjoy period.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parker's turning 3!

Image
It's been almost 3 years since we met Parker. She was a surprise baby to us, one we hadn't planned for but one that has changed our lives in ways we never imagined. She has always seem to have this knowledge of her presence in our lives, as a blessing more than anything else. She is our little calmer, she has this uncanny way of coming up to me when I'm at my worst and putting her sweet hand on my face and helping bring a sudden calm over me. Now don't get me wrong, she is a BUSY, BUSY little girl. From the moment she wakes up to the moment she finally gives in to sleep at night, that little girl has things to do. Whether it's dressed up in high heels and carrying a purse or finding a way to drive her big sister crazy, Parker is always up for a challenge. I can't believe our baby is already turning 3! She kept her end of the deal this summer, we told her if she could potty-train, we'd send her to sister's pre-school. Well guess who's potty-trained...
Read more

Being a mommy...MAMA

Image
I have attempted many jobs in my life. I have been the ice cream scooper at Baskin Robbins and built footlong sandwiches long before Jared discovered their nutritional value. I've waited tables (ok attempted to wait tables) and have supervised 60+ kids at a summer day camp. I have shot sports footage for a newscast and have produced, directed and assistant-directed a 2 hour morning show. But the one job that seems to have the best benefits is that of a mommy. It has no sick time, no vacation time and I think the only promise for a 401K is that maybe someday these children will make me a grandma. I have to say that being a mommy or as the P's call me "mama" is the best job with the most benefits. I've gotten to carry these precious little people and felt their kicks and hiccups inside of me. I was one of the first people they ever laid eyes on and got to hold their warm, wiggly little bodies before anyone else. I've gotten to get up at 2 in the morning to their...
Read more

Time for Change....

I just polished off two chocolate chip cookies. Was I hungry? No. Did they serve some sort of nutritional purpose? No. Why did I eat them? Because they were there! I think I've finally had my AHA moment that Oprah always talks about. I am done killing myself with food. That's essentially what I do to myself everytime I over-indulge. By chosing not to get up this morning to work out before my family got up, is basically telling them I don't think they're worth my health. I am not talking about going on a diet, or joining an exercise group that I'll quit 3 weeks down the road. I'm talking about making a major life change. That means eating in moderation. I will still have a cookie at some point, but I am not in a position right now to say "there are times we just need cookies!" I DO NOT need a cookie right now. What I need is to fuel my body enough to nourish it, but eat less than I am right now, to find a healthy weight. That weight for me is about 50 ...
Read more