Hope
Two weeks ago tonight I had just tucked the girls in for bed and settled down to read before Kris came home from a shift on the ambulance. I had spent a little time snuggling with my 4 legged boy and contemplated letting him crash in our bed. But selfishly I opted to let him sleep in his kennel and said to Kris that I would have him snuggle with me the next night when K returned to the fire station. I wish now that I had him snuggle with us that night, his last night on Earth. I had no idea what would transpire the next day. I had no idea that our whole life as we knew it would go up in smoke. There are moments when I get overwhelmed with sadness and regret and throw in the what ifs. But the what ifs are what keep me going. I try to remember that when the girls get grumpy or fight with each other. I know their whole world has been turned upside down, everything they loved, hoarded, played with and held close to their heart, is gone. Presents from 5th birthdays, favorite books, toys, ...