Not missing a thing

There have always been people in my life who chose to come and go as they please. Some are family so I have always felt as if I had no choice but to let them back in. But as I've grown into adulthood, there are times I wish I could tell them go somewhere else. Some missed quite a bit of my life, and while they made small attempts here and there, they never took the time to get to know me, and I have always felt a constant source of criticism and judgement in relation to them. Basically, I have never felt "good enough" for a few people in my life. Now, I know that I am good enough, but their hypocritical standards are hard to overlook sometimes. As a mother, I thought for a brief moment, the alienation and hurt I felt as a child had changed. They spent time with the P's, seemed excited about them, wanted to know them, and then, their true colors came out again. Some however, were not interested at all. In fact, I can count on one hand how many times they've actually spent any time talking to or interacting with the P's. But a few have managed to rope them and myself back into their web. And sadly, once again, the girls are left behind, much like I was growing up. Enough is enough. I refuse to let their lack of compassion for others make my life anything less than the wonderful it is. I refuse to miss out, and if they chose to, well that is a choice they will have to live with. Life is precious, my children are precious, and getting to be a part of their lives should be regarded as a privilege. If you continue to send them mixed messages or think you can come and go as you please, you are mistaken. I may not have been able to close the door growing up, but as their mother, I am closing it now. I am good enough, they are good enough, but maybe, you're not. Door closed. We have a life to live.