Kids can be so honest and so cruel

First off, Happy New Year! Here we are 12 days into a new year and I haven't blogged. Please don't tell my husband, but this awesome laptop he bought me for our anniversary hasn't been getting used like I said it would. Time to change that up a bit I guess! I've been blogging for almost 5 years now. And of those 5 years, probably 3 and half of those were spent on various roadblocks dealing with my weight loss journey. And it is a journey, sometimes one that I can seem to make some progress on and sometimes I seem to take a few steps back, or a few hundred. But through it all, it seems like I never follow through. I have big goals, big dreams but like a lot of things in my life, I allow life and the need to take care of everyone else come before taking care of myself. This is one of those things we do as parents, everyone else comes first. Well that really isn't working so well in my case. I will never be 150lbs, but I don't want to be where I am at the moment either. (Its over 200 lets not get too focused on the specifics people). I have weighed less, and I have weighed more, a lot more. And its not secret I've been overweight a long time. In fact, 12 of the 13 years my husband and I have been together have been spent in overweightville. I have been working on losing and getting healthy whole-heartedly for well over 6 months now. Like anyone else, I have my good days and my bad days. But I pick myself up and keep going. AND now that certain body parts are cooperating, who knew how important a thyroid really is?! The good news there is the ping-ponging of medicine and biopsies, and tests seem to have gotten through to my old stubborn Thyroid! But that is only part of this journey isn't it? Nothing gets through to a person like the cruel truth from a third grader. While walking in the hallway at school today, I ran into our neighbor T (reminder I do not use the names of children, the internet is a scary place)and a classmate outside of the gym. They looked a little rough and worn out so I asked if they were ok. T smiled and said, "Yea we just survived "Survivor Jog" in PE." I smiled and said truthfully, "I need to do that sometime with you guys." "Survivor Jog is a big deal at the school. Running for 20 minutes straight. I think it equates to almost a 5k, but a good thing for the kids and their fitness, heck anyone wanting to get in a good run. She nodded and said "yea that'd be cool," and they walked passed me. But in passing her classmate said, "She is too fat, she probably couldn't do it." I really wanted to turn around and stick my tongue out at that girl and say, "oh yea well wait until you go to college and work two jobs, then have babies, so there!" But the adult part of me kept walking and started thinking about what people really see when they look at me. And fat, is definitely something that comes to mind. Oh I get it all of the time. "Oh you're just a big girl." Really? Ya think? Or "you're tall so you carry it well." Fat is fat people, and I may be better at sucking it in than someone who is 5'4, but its all the same isn't it? So while I am not going to make any promises I will break on here next Tuesday, I am saying this. My New Year's goals (not resolutions) are summed up in the word, Accountable. Hoping to make some major progress soon. I will keep you blog fans posted and appreciate your prayers and support. And to you blog readers who aren't supportive, and you know who you are....watch me do what it is you think I can't. Maybe it will inspire you!

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