Mama of 2 P's in a Pod

Tomorrow is Little P's first day of kindergarten...and Big P's first day of first grade. They are sound asleep, mommy is wide awake! Much like that night before Christmas feeling! I'm so excited and yet a little sad to see them go. Summer went too fast! But I know they will love it! So much to learn, wings to spread and life to live. So I will be fine...yep fine. No I'm not crying I have an eyelash in my eye!

Three years ago today, I got a phone call from my husband saying a fellow brother and firefighter mentor had died while fighting the same fire he was on. It was a brief conversation, one that literally took my breath away. And one that still haunts me today. It was a hot day, much like today's forecasted high of 104. I had taken the P's to the lake to ride their bike and trike across the dam. But the heat was too much and we gave up pretty quickly. Oddly enough, the picture I took of that little bike ride is on my very first blog post. Kris called as I loaded our girls into my SUV. I automatically drove to firestation number 8, or 8's, Tony's station and what is now Kris' station. My husband is an emotional person, but sometimes he is very difficult to read. Our girls were very young at the time, 2 & 31/2 and I didn't know what I was supposed to do. He seemed like he wanted to be with his brothers, so I left after a short visit. Hindsight of course tells me ...

We enrolled the P's in school today. A little bittersweet to be sending Little P to kindergarten already! But I know she's ready, and I think in a lot of ways we are too. I do worry that her strong will may get us a couple of phone calls from the principal, but in a lot of ways that strong will help her and her big sister. Big P is very ready for first grade, in fact she asked if she could just go to school year round. I hope that enthusiasm continues! I start a new job next week. Sadly, its not at the girls' school which is what I had really worked and hoped for. I will continue to try and get a fulltime gig there, but until then, I'm working for our local Emergency Management Dept. Thankfully, its part time and it sounds like it will be extremely flexible, which is what I need after my other recent job experiences. I won't go on that tangent today.:)I am excited to make a little bit of money for our family again, and to have a glimpse of my own identity again. I j...

Today is Little P's 5th birthday! A pretty big deal!! Its so bittersweet, because while part of me is happy to see her growing into such a sweet little girl, the other part wants time to stand still to keep her little forever! We had a fun day as a family. Lunch at one of her favorite places, some shopping and playing and it was all topped off with a 'friend' party at Chuck-E-Cheese tonight! Where has the past 5 years gone? I remember holding her in my arms that first night, not wanting to sleep just so I could watch her sleep, feel her sweet breath on my neck and wrap her hand around my finger. Thankfully, she had no problem letting mama snuggle with her now, I hope that never changes!

It's 2:45 am and it's too hot to sleep! Literally, it's 85 degrees here but the heat index is 94! Our AC has been running non-stop and the house is semi-cool. But, not cool enough for me I guess. And having my mind race doesn't help either. It's been a bittersweet summer for our family. While having me home has been a blessing, it also means a lot of changes in our lives. We recently had what we once considered 'good friends' move to the Southwest part of the country. These are people we've spent a lot of time with, in fact, at one point, I think almost all of Kris'days off we were either sharing dinner with them or planning our next time spent together. Our children were close. R was big P's first official best friend and the joke was they were going to have an arranged marriage, we have the picture to prove it. But, as often as not, people get busy and the phone calls became one-sided and what had hoped to be a last get-together before their mo...

What is this? Summer is almost over? Yikes! Where has time gone? Oh, I know, we've been super busy and we didn't realize it was sneaking by! I love Independence Day, but the 4th always means summer is almost up! We've had such a good summer so far. No major trips or anything like that, (those come later!) but we've truly enjoyed it so far. The P's were in my cousin Steph's wedding. They were great little flower girls! And of course right after that, was Big P's first dance recital followed by her first summer camp! And in all of that, rain make up t-ball games. A bittersweet end to the season, probably the only time the P's will be on the same team! Now that some of that madness is over, I am hoping to enjoy the lazy days of summer with the girls and Kris. However, as I type, Big P is enjoying herself in Arkansas, her first trip away! Mama is trying to be strong! Here are some pics from our fun!

I had a heart-breaking conversation with an old but good friend online today, The kind of situation that makes you examine your life and how you're living it! Looking around my life, I see a lot of unfinished business. Everything from projects around the house and personal goals. Its seems most of what I am living is in the "I can do that tomorrow" phase. Thats not a good place to be. This isn't going to be one of those pity party posts we are all entitled to every now and then, but rather a "what can I do now?" post! One of the most beautiful people I know is desiring something that came very easily to me and my husband. Her journey has been an extremely gut wrenching one that has left her not questioning why, but rather looking for how! Knowing her determination regardless of the heart break involved has me re-evaluating my determination for life. That includes everything from the small laundry/clothing sort project I have to how Kris and I discipline our ...